<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Shatter by Nununununu</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24329410">Shatter</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nununununu/pseuds/Nununununu'>Nununununu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Body Image, Character Study, Demons, Don't copy to another site, F/F, Futuristic Semi-Urban Fantasy Setting, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Opposites Attract, Self-Acceptance, Worldbuilding, office rivals</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:00:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,570</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24329410</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nununununu/pseuds/Nununununu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Tomoko only allows herself two minutes to look at her reflection and despair.</i>
</p>
<p>Every day is routine, her life rigid, everything strictly controlled -</p>
<p>Until it's not.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Female Character/Original Female Character, Woman who is conscious about her appearance/Her office rival who is not</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Hurt Comfort Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shatter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quin/gifts">Quin</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A treat for Quin -  I hope you like this. I found your prompts for this pairing and mention of demons really inspiring :)</p>
<p>TW for negative body image due to demonic characteristics possessed by main character. Mostly emotional hurt/comfort, but a bit of physical too. Set in a vaguely dystopian future mega city in which demons exist.</p>
<p>(Originally posted 24/05; updated for author reveals).</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>Every day is the same.</p>
<p>Tomoko wakes at four thirty a.m. when her RoboCat begins its morning meows. She pets its smooth head five times to stop it, rubs the sleep from her eyes, rolls out of bed to do her stretches – three minutes for each exercise, no more and no less – slips into her gym clothes and runs for twenty minutes around the neighbourhood on the route she always takes, returns in time for tea and a hot shower, and then dresses herself in one of her neatly tailored suits minus the jacket and brushes her hair. Eats a light breakfast – rice, fish, miso soup – drinks another cup of tea while she listens to the news on the radio – another demon attack down in the East quadrant promptly quashed by Those In The Know – and slips into her smock to do her makeup at her dressing table, before removing the former and double-checking her hair.</p>
<p>This order is important. She has tried other combinations, other ways of doing it, but sitting in front of the mirror inevitably saps her energy – she can only stand to look at herself and see all the ways in which she is wrong for so long, before she starts to be unable to do anything else.</p>
<p>As it is, once her established routine is done, Tomoko only allows herself two minutes to look at her reflection and despair.</p>
<p>She spent all her wishes long ago, longing not to be demon-touched. What is, is; some people are and she is one of them. Her glowing eyes; the small horns that protrude from the top of her head – there are further indications, but even just considering these is almost enough to paralyse her.</p>
<p>Tomoko has tried wearing contacts – they break. She has tried scarves and hoods and hats – the horns rip the material or even melt it. She was left once with charred pieces of fabric stuck for days to her skin.</p>
<p>She tries not to think of such things now. Parcels the despair up in a little box inside her and pushes it down.</p>
<p>Rising from her dressing table, she gives RoboCat its electrofood, puts on her jacket, collects her light coat and briefcase and steps into her heels, locking the door to her regulation apartment behind her, number 228 in City Block 633B.</p>
<p>She is on time, always, to catch the six a.m. train.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-*-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her partner at Sub-Office 16 for Those In The Know is Nakeisha, who never worries.</p>
<p>Nakeisha slops in at eight fifteen, yawning and scratching her side, her latest scruffy shirt riding up, dumping a tub of some creation she has concocted next to the coffeemaker and inviting everyone in general to ‘dig in’.</p>
<p>Tomoko never digs in. She simply sips her third cup of tea and tries not to purse her lips as Nakeisha starts up conversation with almost everyone else in the room, and takes fifteen minutes to cross the office floor to their shared working space.</p>
<p>Tomoko is close to finishing the preliminary analysis of the demon captured in the East quadrant by the time Nakeisha meanders over and kicks her shoes off under the work table. The demon is suspended in a holobeam; Nakeisha’s first act is to pluck the NoInk!pen out from behind Tomoko’s ear and try to poke it.</p>
<p>“Stop that,” Tomoko doesn’t slap the other woman’s hand down, but the other woman’s jaw tightens much as if she did.</p>
<p>“You see that?” Nakeisha barely glances at her all the same. Her heart-shaped face is free of makeup, wrists and neck unadorned, her oversized and faded shirt much like something she wore out ten years ago, chucked into a cupboard in a ball of creases, and only now just dug out again.</p>
<p>She’s the most beautiful person Tomoko has ever seen.</p>
<p>She catches sight of their reflections for a moment, side by side in the floor length window overlooking the vast cityscape, and looks away. Concentrates on the demon instead – the creature some others in the office have been known to joke must be one of her cousins, or even a sibling perhaps. As if being demon-touched makes her one of them.</p>
<p>In a way – she is bone-deep certain of this, but will never admit – it does.</p>
<p>Disgust at the demon and the parts of herself similar to it crawls in Tomoko’s bones. She keeps her expression free of this, in the way she has learned to perfect.</p>
<p>“I see it,” She tells Nakeisha, which is a lie. The other woman has flashes of brilliance, moments of tremendous intuition, and Tomoko, however hard she works –</p>
<p>Does not.</p>
<p>There are times she tries to tell herself she hates Nakeisha, but the bitter-tinged feelings inside her are too complicated for that. She endeavours to crush them into a box and push them away likewise.</p>
<p>“So if we just – drain it from these points – you see, right, here, and here –” Nakeisha adjusts the holobeam with one hand, gesturing at the demon the other, while Tomoko accordingly turns on the siphon she has already prepared.</p>
<p>Given Tomoko has taken back her NoInk!pen, Nakeisha goes to prod the demon with her finger.</p>
<p>“Do you <em>want</em> that bitten off?” Tomoko is doing her utmost to ignore the fact they’re drawing a small crowd of their fellow employees. There are other demons in Sub-Office 16, other people working to drain and disassemble them, but their demon is the biggest and impressive in the way such things are – which is to say, it is horrendously vile – and the power they will be able to draw from it, if they succeed, could go towards keeping the minutiae of the East quadrant functioning at premium efficiency for at least half a day – possibly even more than that.</p>
<p>At the rate the City uses up power, Those In The Know would be forced to greatly increase the percentage of demons they summon simply for the sake of harvesting them, were it not for the efforts of employees in Sub-Offices such as number 16.</p>
<p>“If it would <em>just</em> move its wing up out the way, I’m sure there’s something else –” Nakeisha is frowning, which somehow only serves to draw attention to the perfection of her profile.</p>
<p>Tearing her gaze away from the other woman, Tomoko makes herself shake off her thoughts and refocus on the demon.</p>
<p>“Oh,” There is a smoke-like shimmer on its scales visible when she uses her Other Sight, something she hates to do. The shine of it greatest on the demon’s belly, left side and ridged back, all places Nakeisha indicated, having somehow identified them without possessing a drop of demonic blood in her veins.</p>
<p>If Tomoko had been willing to utilise her Other Sight from the start, she wouldn’t have needed the other woman to point out the fact that the demon is preparing to Change. If they siphon it at the precise moment before it does so, they’ll be able to collect enough power to last for a <em>week</em>.</p>
<p>Tomoko’s eyes are glowing; she can see the flicker of it in the polished surface of the work table. She hates it – <em>she hates it</em> –</p>
<p>“Come on, Tomo,” Nakeisha is prompting, not looking at her. Ordering her vision back to normal, Tomoko glares fiercely at the table for the space of three seconds – all she dares permit herself while at work.  </p>
<p>“Don’t call me that.”</p>
<p>Nakeisha, as usual, doesn’t even indicate that she’s heard.</p>
<p>Repressing a sigh, Tomoko adjusts the holobeam, splitting it into pieces to hold the demon in place more firmly while focusing the siphon upon the shimmering spots that indicate its eminent transformation. The process is painstaking – Nakeisha turns to one side to chat with a colleague enthusing about her cooking – Tomoko’s fingers tighten on the controls –</p>
<p>She realises her mistake an instant later. That area Nakeisha has been so interested in, under its wing –</p>
<p>It’s not another place on the demon’s body heralding its transformation to a more powerful form. If she hadn’t been so desperate to turn her Other Sight off as quickly as possible, Tomoko would have realised that the difficult to see spot is instead like a black hole.</p>
<p>The thing is primed to both explode and implode, in the way only very few demons inexplicably can – a move in which they destroy their own bodies and burrow themselves inside the nearest potential host, destroying them inside and out.</p>
<p>And because Tomoko hadn’t realised, she’s started the siphoning and the machine is already overloading, the power it’s drawing off the demon causing it to go haywire, the demon itself struggling and screeching in pained outrage within the guttering holobeam.</p>
<p>“<em>Nakeisha!</em>” Tomoko has just enough time to see the burst of raw power break out of the containment field and lash towards the other woman, enough to kill a human with ease and allow the demon to inhabit the remains.</p>
<p>Just enough time to throw herself in front of it –</p>
<p>Then, nothing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-*-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wakes at four thirty a.m. in regulation apartment number 228 in City Block 633B, but little is the same.</p>
<p>For a start Tomoko’s hands, when she raises them to pat RoboCat, are twisted and heavily clawed. Her insides lurch with nausea. Her back hurts enough that she only stops panicking when she’s finally established that she hasn’t, actually, manifested wings.</p>
<p>Nakeisha is asleep in the chair she’s pulled from in front of the dressing table, angling it next to the bed. Her knees are pulled up to her chest, her mouth slightly open, a bruise darkening one cheek. Her right hand is wrapped in a messy bandage.</p>
<p>She looks uncomfortable and far more wonderful in Tomoko’s apartment than she has any right to.</p>
<p>“Na-keisha?” Tomoko croaks.</p>
<p>“Too early,” Nakeisha mumbles, and folds down so she’s half-sitting, half-lying on Tomoko’s bed, fast asleep again in seconds.</p>
<p>“Uh,” Tomoko’s horrible hands twitch with the desire to touch the other woman’s soft hair. She blinks hard, forces herself not to look at them anymore, not to think about them, and creeps very carefully out of bed to start her morning routine.</p>
<p>Nakeisha wakes at five forty five with the expression of someone who thoroughly resents mornings, and wipes her chin dry of drool and catches sight of Tomoko crumpled on the floor in front of her dressing table, only the top of her horned head visible in the mirror.</p>
<p>“Tomo?” Despite her groan as she straightens up and the glare she gives the digital clock on RoboCat’s forehead, Nakeisha plops off the chair and shuffles over to sit by Tomoko’s side, “It’d be pretty stupid of me to ask if you’re all right, wouldn’t it.”</p>
<p>“Mm,” Tomoko is the one who can’t look at her now.</p>
<p>“Would it help if I thank you for saving my life?” Nakeisha rests her beautifully tapered fingers and finely shaped nails next to Tomoko’s twisted fingers, “Because I’m so, so grateful.”</p>
<p>“Is that why you’re here?” Tomoko can’t scrap up the will to put on the polite face she always wears. Can’t get up, can’t stop hiding here down on the floor, face obscured by her hair. At least she still has her hair. At least she’s still alive too.</p>
<p>At least Nakeisha’s alive.</p>
<p>She’s grateful for all of that. It’s just –</p>
<p>“You were asking for me,” Nakeisha says far more gently than she’s ever addressed Tomoko before. Almost shyly. When Tomoko dares glance at her through her hair, the other woman’s biting her lip.</p>
<p>Desire crawls up Tomoko’s throat; she shoves it back down.</p>
<p>“It was amazing, what you did,” Nakeisha darts a look back at her, her voice still soft and that bit hesitant, running her fingers over the grain of the carpet. Tomoko ought to offer her a cup of coffee. Breakfast. Something.</p>
<p>She ought to be leaving for work.</p>
<p>“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful,” Nakeisha wets that lip her teeth bit, “You, lit up with glowing power, holding the demon back from killing me; siphoning it of enough power to last the <em>whole city</em> for days. You’re beautiful all the time, you know, but then – then you looked –”</p>
<p>“<em>Stop</em>. Please.”</p>
<p>The sound of something close to – to awe in Nakeisha’s voice is unbearable. It has to be mockery, even if it doesn’t sound like it. She can’t truly mean it – how could she? How could a human ever consider someone demon-touched <em>beautiful</em>?</p>
<p>“You’re the beautiful one,” Tomoko does <em>not</em> intend to say this, “I’m –”</p>
<p>Damaged. Ruined. <em>Wrong</em>.</p>
<p>“<em>Incredible</em>,” Nakeisha says firmly, “You’re incredible, Tomo. Always so well put together – I’ve always felt a little intimidated, you know? I don’t mean in a bad way though, not at all. You’re always just so competent, so in control.”</p>
<p>“That’s not –” A good thing, Tomoko intends to say. It’s <em>necessary</em>. Because if she loses control –</p>
<p>Well. Her back still aches as if her wings are itching to sprout.</p>
<p>Oddly, the nickname doesn’t bother her anymore. It’s possible it didn’t ever really at all.</p>
<p>“Why are you telling me this?” She climbs to her feet a little unsteadily, and goes to offer Nakeisha a hand up. Pauses. She can’t –</p>
<p>Surely no one, Nakeisha included, would ever want to touch her twisted hand.</p>
<p>“I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time,” Nakeisha is looking at her. No revulsion in her eyes, no fear or hatred of the demonic parts Tomoko has for so long despised. “I’ve wanted you for possibly forever, but I know you don’t approve of –” She shrugs a bit helplessly. “Me.”</p>
<p>“I don’t approve of <em>me</em>,” Tomoko blurts, again without intending to, “I thought you – thought me boring. Dull. I – I approve of almost everything about you. Very much.”</p>
<p>Nakeisha takes her hand without even blinking when Tomoko dares to hold it out.</p>
<p>“<em>Almost</em> everything?” Humour flashes across her face, “You’re not dull, Tomo, or boring – no way. I thought you found me a nuisance. Will you let me cook you breakfast? Or take you out for it?”</p>
<p>“You’ve never been a nuisance.” Not truly. Nakeisha had just made her <em>want</em>, so very much, “But –”</p>
<p>Why would she <em>want</em> to spend more time with Tomoko?</p>
<p>“Work,” She tries a bit desperately, to cover how very much she wants to say yes.</p>
<p>“Aren’t expecting to see either of us until at least tomorrow,” Nakeisha confirms.</p>
<p>“Can I –” She can do this. Tomoko takes a breath in, “Can I make you coffee? While you cook?”</p>
<p>And maybe, while she drinks her tea and Nakeisha her coffee – maybe they can sit and continue to talk.</p>
<p>They’ve never really taken the time to just <em>talk</em>, have they. And Nakeisha’s fingers are warm and unflinching, slipping between Tomoko’s own.</p>
<p>RoboCat butts up against Nakeisha’s ankles, meowing until she ducks down to pick him up gently without letting go of Tomoko. She looks so right in Tomoko’s apartment, like she belongs there.</p>
<p>“I’d like that,” Nakeisha’s smiling as she straightens again and Tomoko’s helpless not to smile back in return.</p>
<p>She doesn’t find herself hankering to scowl at her reflection as they head past the dressing table to the kitchen. That might come, she knows – she’s still not comfortable with the demonic parts of herself; would be lying to say she likes them. But just maybe –</p>
<p>Without them, Nakeisha wouldn’t be alive. Without them, Tomoko also would have died. So, just maybe –</p>
<p>They’re not all bad.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Fin</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>